


We Were Born To Break the Doors Down

by HoldenMGrudges



Series: Newsies High [2]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:04:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoldenMGrudges/pseuds/HoldenMGrudges
Summary: With the Newsies starting their senior year of high school, relationships and friendships are up in the air. But when their LGBTQ+ Club is threatened, will they fight together or will they go their separate ways?





	1. Summersies

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my first work, "What We Are, Not What We Should Be". I'm gonna try to write this one as a standalone so that you don't have to read the first one to get into this one, but if you want to read the first one, it's there for you to read. As you can tell by the tags, there are a lot of ships in this, and 2 new main characters in Sniper and Henry. There might be more. I'm still not even fully sure about the plot yet. But I hope I can do this as well as the first one.
> 
> Happy Dia De Muertos and Belated Halloween!

“You weren’t his first.” He had promised himself he would never tell Race, but he felt compelled to. Maybe this way, Race would move on. There was the possibility that it would blow up in Jojo’s face, but he had to try. He had to tell him the truth. Even if it meant the summer would end the way it began.

At the beginning of the summer, Jojo De La Guerra felt terrible. He and his best friend Racetrack Higgins had gotten into an argument and during that argument he’d brought up Albert, which was a rarity. He knew how Race felt about the subject and how much pain came with it, but there was no doubt in Jojo’s mind that Race needed to change the way he thought about love.

They’d had fights before which resulted in them not talking for weeks. Jojo was prepared for that. He knew he’d probably end up apologizing or Race would climb up to his window to tell him about some new guy he’d hooked up with. They were best friends. Practically brothers.

But their fight didn’t last that long. It didn’t even last a day. The night of their fight, Jojo was alone at home sulking in his own misery. The thought of drowning his sorrows in alcohol simmered as he tried to think of what else he could do. Then the doorbell rang. He went downstairs, curious as to who it was. He half hoped it was Spot. He needed a friend.

But when he opened the door, there was Race. One of his eyes was swollen, and he looked like he was in pain. “Sorry, I couldn’t go up to your window. Hurt too much.”

Jojo let him in, horrified. “What happened to you?”

“Dad.”

Jojo’s nostrils flared in anger. “I’m calling the cops on that asshole.”

“No. Jo, don’t. You know they never do anything. They’ll just say it was a minor dispute between a father and a son.”

Jojo pointed at Race’s face. “This? A minor dispute? This looks like he was trying to kill you.”

“And he probably would have if I hadn’t slipped away.”

Jojo scoffed and bobbed his head in confusion and shock.

“Can I stay here for a while?”

“Yes. Of course you can. I don’t want you going back there.”

“Thanks.”

“Race…”

“What?”

An apology was at the tip of Jojo’s tongue. He considered it for a second before asking, “What happened?”

“I uh...I came out to him. Told him his son was a big ol’ gay. A big ol’ gay bottom. That I’d had so much meat inside me, I was like a steakhouse.”

“Race...What did you hope to accomplish with that?”

“I don’t know. I was just tired of hiding it from him.”

“You don’t think he already knew?”

“If he did, he would’ve killed me sooner.”

“Race...Did you want him to?”

“No. Obviously not. I just...I wanted to know I had the option. If I wanted it. I guess I didn’t want it.”

“You worry me.”

“Good. I gotta keep ya on your toes, Jo.” He smiled at Jojo, giving a wince at the pain he felt when moving his facial muscles. Jojo smiled back, but he made a mental note to watch over Race like a hawk.

Over the next few weeks, Jojo made sure Race was well taken care of. He personally went to Race’s house while his father was at work to get clothes for him. He told the maids and cooks that were in and out of the house that Race was his guest and to get him whatever he needed. He never worried about his parents saying anything since they knew Race and practically treated him like family. Race in turn treated them with respect, at least to their faces.

Jojo was spending more time with Race than he ever had. He even agreed to a bet with him to see who could hook up with the most guys over the summer. They’d go out to local bars using their fake IDs or use hookup apps. They were pretty evenly matched. Race had a lot of charisma, but Jojo had a bubble butt. Still, Jojo never felt any type of connection with any of the guys he talked to, and always sent them home without Race knowing. He never felt bad about it though. Sending them home meant he had some alone time. He loved Race, but he needed at least some time away from him.

In August, they were both invited to Sarah and David Jacobs’ 17th Birthday Bash. Race suggested they take liquor, but Jojo knew it wouldn’t be that kind of party. Sarah and David’s family would be there so they’d have to be on their best behavior.

At the party, Jojo saw several faces he hadn’t seen all summer. First off were the birthday twins, dressed very fancily, almost prom-like. David’s boyfriend, Jack Kelly, was also there, with their best friend, Crutchie Morris, who usually tagged along. Katherine Plumber, a friend from their school’s LGBTQ+ Club was also there, looking uncomfortable when she wasn’t conversing with either of the birthday twins. And then there was Spot Conlon, who looked just as uncomfortable as Katherine.

Jojo had texted Spot throughout the summer, but it had been hard to meet up. Spot didn't want anything to do with Race, and Jojo had no choice but to watch over Race, so it had never happened.

He approached the shorter guy with a smile and they hugged familiarly. They talked for a bit, catching each other up on the past few weeks. Jojo had almost forgotten about Race, until he came up to them.

“Hey there, stranger…” he said to Spot.

“Hey…” Spot replied. Jojo could tell there was still something there. He could tell Spot wasn’t over Race, and that Race still wanted Spot. Jojo was still rooting for them. “Oh look, someone better to talk to.” Spot walked away, waving at Crutchie.

“Well, you royally fucked that up,” Jojo said.

“Don’t start.”

All Jojo could do was nod.

For the rest of summer, it seemed that Jojo wasn’t the only one who needed his space. Jojo felt that Race wasn’t as much of a danger to himself as before, so he left him alone some days and drove out of town for a few hours.

When school started again, Race started talking about going back home, and Jojo worried. One night, they were in the bathroom brushing their teeth, getting ready for bed. Race’s tactic was to bring up controversial subjects before bedtime. Sometimes they would stay up and talk about it and other times they’d sleep on it and talk about it in the morning.

“I gave him all summer to cool off. If he’s still heated, I’ll come back here.”

“Race, he’s a massive asshole. You were able to get away last time, but what if he succeeds in killing you this time? I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you like that…”

“You won’t.”

“Look, I say just stay here and move on with your life. Move forward, don’t move back. You have it good here. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Why are you so obsessed with moving on?”

“Because otherwise we’re stuck. And being stuck makes life unbearable. You’re already stuck in your lovelife. I don’t want you to get stuck with anything else.”

“I’m not stuck in my lovelife. I get a healthy amount of dick. Don’t judge me when you’ve been hooking up just as much as I have.”

“I haven’t.”

“Jo, we have an even score on our summer bang-a-thon bet.”

“No. You’re winning. I haven’t...I send every guy home before we do anything.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I just...I can’t hook up with randos like you can. I need to...feel something.”

“Put their mouth on your dick and you’ll feel something.”

“You know what I mean, Race.”

There was a minute of silence before Race spoke. “What else have you been hiding from me?”

Jojo sighed and another minute of silence followed. “I went...to visit Albert. Multiple times this summer.”

Race’s breath went shaky. “Oh. How uh...how is he?”

Jojo rolled his eyes. “He hasn’t changed. But you haven’t seen him since...”

“Nope. I haven’t.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Weren’t you just talking about not moving backwards?”

“Yeah, well maybe you need to see him and talk to him so that you can realize that you’re better off with someone else.”

“Jo stop.” Race’s eyes filled with tears. “He was my first. And I was his first. You don’t know what we had. It was special. It was something I don’t want to have again with anyone else. It hurt. But I also know that...he’s the one. The one. If not with him, I don’t want to make it with anyone.”

Jojo hated that Race put Albert on such a pedestal. He may not have been Albert’s boyfriend, but he shared the same bond with Albert that Race did. And Jojo knew that the way Race was thinking was toxic. He knew Albert wasn’t a saint. And he needed Race to know it too. “You weren’t his first.”

“What?”

“You weren’t his first,” Jojo repeated. “He wanted you think you were. He wanted your first time to be perfect. But he wanted the practice. And I was willing. We were both horny teens. Both gay. I mean, I wasn’t in love with him, but when he touched me, I went with it. Out of curiosity. Out of lust. Hell, who knew if I was even his first? But he was mine. And that was his excuse. He wanted to practice to make it a great first time with you. He made me promise not to tell you. I made myself promise not to tell you. But...you had to know.”

Race remained quiet, tears falling down his face. It was as if Albert had broken his heart all over again. “Well, Jo, if you were trying to convince me to give love another try, you’ve failed. Now you’ve convinced me the love I had was never real to begin with. Thanks for that.” He walked to his room, closing the door behind him.

Jojo worried, but didn’t know what else to do. He decided to give him some space. The next morning, Race and all his stuff were gone. No note, just empty.

* * *

“You know, you’re cute. Are you single?” Was she being flirted with? There were a lot of emotions going through her at that moment and she couldn’t focus in on which one to believe.

At the beginning of summer, Sarah got her first real kiss. She’d kissed others before. There had been Spot and Jack and even some girls before she had come out as trans, but she’d never really felt anything for them. It had been a shock but a relief when she found out Spot also hadn’t felt anything for her. Except, it had been easier on him, because he knew he was gay and that was the reason why. Sarah, on the other hand, didn’t know why.

When Katherine kissed her a few weeks before summer break, she’d felt it. It felt right, because it was Katherine. She was her best friend and deep down she’d known that she’d had a little crush on her. She thought it was just a girl crush though. Sarah had always had girl crushes and boy crushes that she knew didn’t mean anything. So in feeling something with Katherine, she got scared.

During the weeks that followed, they didn’t talk about the kiss. Neither girl brought it up, and Sarah hadn’t told anyone. Every time they hung out, she’d brought David along. If she couldn’t, she’d tell Katherine she was busy and couldn’t hang out. She knew it was weird that she’d spent so long trying to get close to Katherine and now that she’d gotten romantically close, she was backing off. She just didn’t know how to process those feelings because they were so new.

Did it mean she was gay? Did it mean she only felt that way for Katherine? It scared her to think that boys were off the table, because she had made up a future in her mind where she ended up with a man. Now she was questioning that future. She tried to envision herself with Katherine and in her head, it completely changed the future she had thought of before.

So for the entirety of summer, Sarah kept their relationship strictly business. When they hung out, it was to talk about Katherine’s blog. Sarah and David would be consultants and potentially write articles whenever they could. Katherine was still in that mindset of writing a school newspaper, so the twins would be there to remind her that it could be anything. That it didn’t have to be a specific format or follow any of the school rules because it wasn’t run by the school anymore. Katherine felt uncomfortable with the idea and wished her old lackeys, Bill and Darcy, were there to help her.

Talking about Bill and Darcy remind them all that there were people from school they hadn’t seen a lot throughout summer. Katherine joked that the twins should hold a summer party to get everyone together. Immediately, Sarah and David looked at each other and smiled. “Well, our birthday is coming up…” Sarah replied.

Weeks later, Sarah and David were enjoying their birthday party with all their friends. Sarah looked around the back yard where everything had been set up and saw all the people that had been able to make it. She couldn’t believe all these people knew that she was trans and didn’t care. She couldn’t believe she was able to openly be herself. She felt really lucky.

Sarah and David had decided to make the party casual dress, while dressing formally themselves. So when Katherine arrived wearing a gown and a little bit of makeup, there were a lot of stares in her direction. For Sarah, it was different. She was entranced and her heart was racing a mile a minute. It was like seeing her for the first time all over again.

“I seem to be overdressed,” Katherine said as she approached Sarah. She handed over a small box with a bow on it. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.” She opened it, seeing a gift card to Jacobi’s.

“I wasn’t sure what to get you, but I know you like Jacobi’s.”

Sarah did like to go there a lot so she wasn’t wrong. She had just hoped for something a little more personal. Still, the fact that Katherine got her a gift at all was sweet of her. “It’s perfect, Kath. Thank you very much.” 

“Of course. You’re welcome.” Katherine went over to give David his gift, but Sarah just stood there, feeling slightly embarrassed at her lack of words. She went to her room and looked in the mirror, seeing how red she was. If she wasn’t convinced of it before, she was sure now. She had feelings for Katherine.

She heard a knock behind her and looked into the mirror to see Spot standing at her doorway. “You okay?” he asked. Sarah gave him a weak smile and shrugged. Spot took this opportunity to walk inside the room and close the door. They both sat on the bed and then Sarah plopped the rest of her body down. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nerves.”

“About?”

Sarah sighed, but decided if she was going to confide in anyone, Spot was just as good as her at keeping secrets. “I think I like someone.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I’ve never liked anyone. Not like this. It’s new. It’s different. It’s...scary. I’m not sure if I like it.”

“You never even had those feelings for me? When we were together?”

“Nope. I liked you and I thought you were hot but...You didn’t make my heart flutter. Or whatever.”

“I’d say ouch, but I guess I didn’t ever really feel that way about you either.”

“I’m sorry. This must be a real downer at a party. My own party nonetheless.”

“No, it’s your party. You can cry if you want to.”

They laughed and then Sarah shook her head. “I don’t know what to do. I’m not brave.”

“You’re the bravest person I know, Sarah. I mean, you’ve had to be brave your whole life. You’ll have to keep being brave your whole life.”

“Having feelings for someone is different though. It’s not something I’m one hundred percent sure about.”

“What are you not sure about?”

“What if I feel things now but later on...I don’t? Or what if she changes her mind about me?”

“She?”

“She.”

They remained quiet for a few seconds and then Spot spoke up. “They always say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right?”

“Right.”

“I’ve loved and I’ve lost. And I’m still here. I’m still kicking. And I’m willing to keep on trying. Honestly, as long as you’re here for me, Sarah, I’m golden. And I can promise you I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

“Thanks, Spot.” She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. Even though she still felt nervous about her feelings for Katherine, having Spot there did help.

Back outside, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of Kath. She tried to distract herself by dancing with her friends or eating snacks. Then a slow song came on and she felt awkward when people started coupling up. Jack even pulled David onto the dance floor. Sarah went to get a drink and just watched. She wished she had the courage to ask Katherine to slow dance with her. But she didn’t do it.

Sarah had always been the brave one, and David had always been the timid one, but now it seemed like it was the other way around. Maybe it was because everything felt so real now, that she didn’t know how to behave. Before, she’d felt like she was faking it through life. Now that she was out and she knew her feelings for Katherine were real, she didn’t have a script to go off of, and she didn’t know what to do. So she didn’t do anything at all.

When school started up again, Sarah told herself this was her year. She was out, she had a supportive group of friends, and she had nothing to lose. Spot had even convinced her to ask Katherine to the Homecoming Dance. However, doing the actual asking was harder than anything else.

A couple of weeks in, she got up the courage to finally do it. She knew Katherine spent a lot of her lunches in the computer lab because old habits died hard, though she wondered if she worked on her blog while she was in there.

Sarah walked in and saw the back of Katherine’s brown hair. She took a deep breath and walked over to her with confidence. Then, she noticed another girl sitting next to Katherine. She was sitting awfully close to her. Sarah didn’t like it. Had Katherine met someone new? Had the months of not talking about the kiss and Sarah keeping her at a distance inevitably made Katherine move on?

Before she could turn around and walk away, Katherine turned to see her. She smiled and waved Sarah over. Sarah had no choice but to approach.

“Hey, Sarah, I want you to meet someone.” The girl next to Katherine smiled at her. She was really pretty, with long, dark hair and bright green eyes. She couldn’t tell what ethnicity the girl was, but that only added to her beauty. Sarah hoped Katherine wouldn’t introduce the girl as her girlfriend. “She calls herself Sniper. Sniper, this is my best friend Sarah.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sniper said. Sarah extended her hand, but instead of reaching out, Sniper whipped out a camera and took a picture of her. “Gotcha.”

Sarah didn’t know what to think about that and dropped her hand. “You’re a photographer?” she asked.

“Yep, and a damn good one. That’s why they call me Sniper.”

“She’s gonna help me get pictures for the blog,” Katherine said. “She didn’t know the school paper was defunct so she came up to me asking if she could join. I told her about our blog so...she’s our new photographer!”

“That’s...awesome,” Sarah said. “Glad you can be part of the team.” She turned to Katherine. “Speaking of, when are you putting up your first post?”

“Not sure yet.”

“You’ve been putting it off for a while. We would’ve even had a few issues of the paper up by now.”

“I know, I know. I’m just a perfectionist. I have to have the perfect story to start off this perfect blog.”

“It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be you. You’re what brings the perfect.”

“Well, find me a good story then. The sooner I have one, the sooner I can have this blog up and running.”

“I’ll try. In fact, I should go ask around right now.” She knew she had to get out of there. She wasn’t going to ask Katherine to the dance with an audience. Sarah turned back to Sniper and said, “It was nice to meet you,” despite the sentiment not being exactly true.

“Take her with you,” Katherine said. “Maybe she can get pictures of whatever you find.”

“Oh...uh…” Despite Sarah’s hesitance, Sniper grabbed her stuff and got up. “Yeah, okay, let’s go.” They exited the computer lab and began walking toward the cafeteria. “So uh...you’re into photography. Why not go for, say, the yearbook committee?”

“Didn’t sound as fun as the school paper,” Sniper responded. “I read the last issue and...I thought it was interesting.”

Sarah knew she’d been the subject of the last issue of the school paper. She’d been the reason it was no longer part of the school. “Interesting, huh?”

“Yeah.” Sniper stepped ahead of Sarah and took a bunch of quick pictures of her. “You know, you’re cute. Are you single?”

Sarah was about to ask the girl to stop taking pictures of her, but the question caught her off guard. “I...yes. But I’m not looking.”

“Okay,” Sniper said, unaffected. “So where are we going?”

Sarah didn’t know what to think about this girl. She was quirky for sure, but she couldn’t tell if she was a threat to her or not. Luckily, she’d spend enough time with her to eventually find out.

* * *

“I’m going to give him my virginity.” For most of the summer, David felt like he was faking his way through life. Technically, nothing was wrong. He had a boyfriend who he loved, and he’d told him he loved him. He had a best friend in Crutchie, who was supportive and kind. His relationship with his family was perfect. He had nothing to wish for, really.

Except, he felt wrong. He’d confided his feelings in Crutchie, and Crutchie had tried his best to reassure him, telling him that he only felt something was off because he was living in constant fear that something would go wrong. It wasn’t a lie. David always felt like his happiness was bound to end sooner or later.

But it wasn’t just that and he tried to explain that to Crutchie. “I don’t know. I feel like Jack’s been kind of distant all summer.” It was as if ever since he’d told him he loved him over voicemail, everything with Jack had slowed down. He thought it would bring them closer, but he felt that Jack had done everything possible to get away from him.

“He’s taken you out like every week though,” Crutchie replied.

“Yeah, but...I mean, we don’t really talk about anything. I feel like we used to talk, like really talk. But now it’s all like...white noise. And he spends a lot of time at work.”

Jack hadn’t even told him he was going to get a summer job until he’d already started. David didn’t think much of it then, but now it felt weird.

“Well yeah, he has to be able to afford taking you out every week.”

“Okay, true, but…”

“But what?”

“Has he told you anything? Like, anything to indicate that he’s...unhappy?”

“No. He constantly tells me he loves you and that he loves spending time with you. I mean, he spends more time with you than with me and we live in the same building…”

David knew he could trust Crutchie. The more time he spent with him, the more David felt more confident about their friendship being real. When they’d first started hanging out, he’d felt Crutchie was only his friend because Jack was. Then, when he’d found out Crutchie was in love with Jack and proceeded to get with Jack, he’d always thought Crutchie resented him. But over the summer, David felt more connected to Crutchie than he’d ever felt. He could even tell the difference when Crutchie was being his real self and when he was putting on his fake happy-go-lucky persona.

“You know, we never really talked about when Jack and I got together.”

“We did.”

“You said some words, but we never really had a discussion about it.”

“I mean, we didn’t have to, did we?”

“I don’t think we were close enough then to have a legitimate discussion about it.”

“But now we are?”

David scoot closer to Crutchie and leaned his head on the shorter boy’s shoulder. Jack was always showing affection for both boys physically, whether it was a hug, or a loving caress, or a soft kiss. It was easier for them to give back to Jack. As for each other, it was rare. Any physical affection between David and Crutchie was a bit awkward, but they knew the more they did it, the easier it would get.

Crutchie smiled and rested his head on David’s. “So I guess you want to talk about it.”

“Kind of.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Are you still in love with him?”

“I’ll always love him. I’ve made peace with it. Am I jealous of you? No. It kind of goes...beyond jealousy. I like you two together. I ship Javey...Or whatever your ship name is.” They both laughed. “Anything else?”

“Did you...Did you feel like I betrayed you when I got with him, even though I knew you were in love with him?”

“A little. I didn’t really know you then. I thought you’d be like the others. You’d be there for now but…”

“Eventually we’d break it off.”

“Yeah. And then I got to know you and...I wanted you to stick around.”

“I love you, Crutch.” It was the first time he’d said it to him. And it came out naturally. He hadn’t worried for weeks about saying it. He hadn’t tried to dissect what it meant. He hadn’t thought up a list of possible consequences. He’d just said it and didn’t regret it.

“I love you too, Davey.” Even though he couldn’t see Crutchie’s face, he heard the smile in his voice.

That night, they continued talking, sitting together in one of the lawn chairs in the Penthouse, what Crutchie and Jack had dubbed the roof of their building, until Jack came home from work.

The night of Sarah and David’s birthday party, David felt nervous. He’d never co-hosted a party before, mostly because he’d never had any friends to invite. Things had changed a lot over the past six or so months they’d been living there. But he had nothing to worry about. The party went off without a hitch.

He had been worried that Jack wouldn’t be able to take the night off, but as soon as Crutchie arrived, he was kept distracted enough to forget about it until Jack did arrive.

“Oh he’s finally here!” Crutchie yelled as Jack came running toward them in a grease-stained t-shirt.

Jack went to hug David, but David pushed him away a little. “Sorry,” David said. “I don’t want your shirt ruining my outfit.”

Jack smirked before quickly retorting, “Your outfit don’t need my shirt to ruin it, bud. But since it’s your birthday, how ‘bout I just give you a kiss.”

“A kiss would be nice.”

Jack leaned in and placed a soft simple kiss on David’s lips. “Happy birthday, babe.”

“Babe? Mmm, you just ruined it.”

“Fine, take this instead.” He handed David a wrapped cylinder and the birthday boy knew immediately that it was one of Jack’s drawings.

“Jack, you didn’t have to…”

“Yes I did. Open it.”

David carefully took off the wrap and then slowly unrolled the drawing. It was a picture of the three of them. David was in the middle with his arms around Jack and Crutchie, all looking like they were having a good time. “This...is perfect. It’s just what I wanted. Thank you.”

Jack gave Crutchie a grateful smile before glancing back at David. “You’re very welcome.” They shared another kiss before Jack went to give Crutchie a hug. Crutchie pushed him away too. “Oh what, you don’t want me ruining your outfit either?”

“No,” Crutchie said with a grin. “I just wanted to see what that felt like.”

“Ass.” Jack then pulled Crutchie in trying to rub his shirt all over him, while David watched with a smile on his face.

David tried to mingle with as many people as he could at the party, and he couldn’t help but notice that Jack would hang back and mingle with other people while he did this. Was Jack going out of his way to not spend time with him? At his birthday party? He tried not to think about it too much.

“Hey,” he said when he got back to him.

“Hey,” Jack responded. “Where’s Crutchie?”

David shrugged, looking around. It seemed to David, they functioned better with Crutchie around. He scanned the back yard and finally saw him. He pointed the out the boy with the crutch. “He’s talking to Spot Conlon.”

“Oh.” There was something in the way Jack said it that sparked David’s interest.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, oh. I didn’t know they talked.”

“That’s ‘cause you’ve been working all the time. But yeah, they talk. They’ve been talking. Crutchie thinks he’s hot.”

“Does he?” There was minimum reaction in Jack’s face, but his voice hinted at something else.

“I mean, I’m not gonna say he’s not attractive. And he’s a nice guy.”

“Right.”

“Aww, you’re not jealous are you?”

“Of Crutchie?”

“...Of Spot. Because I think he’s attractive.”

“I’m always jealous of anyone you lay your eyes on.”

David smiled and tried not to let his imagination get to him. “Well, I think you’re the most attractive person here.”

“Nah, you are.” They shared another kiss.

“I think it’s good that Crutchie and Spot are talking. I ship it. What would their ship name be? Crot? Eh. No. Maybe...Sputchie? That sounds kinda cute.”

“I’m gonna uh...go pee. Be right back.” Jack gave him a pat in the back and ran off, leaving David by himself. The birthday boy went to go mingle some more, pushing all his bad thoughts to the back of his head.

When the slow music came on, Jack walked over and without saying anything, pulled David onto the dance floor.

“How romantic,” David whispered as they danced. There were so many things Jack was good at that always surprised David. Drawing, speaking, kissing, flipping burgers, and now dancing.

“I’m your boyfriend. I figured I’d act the part.”

“Crutchie told you to come get me, didn’t he.” David wasn’t really asking, but was saying it more out of amusement.

“I mean, it was either this or he was gonna dropkick my cheeseburger.”

“You work with cheeseburgers all day. Aren’t you tired of them yet?”

“You can never get tired of cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers are life.”

“Hmm…” They continued dancing in silence for a few seconds. “Do you ever feel like Crutchie ships us more than we do?”

Jack chuckled at that. “You know, I think he does.”

It wasn’t exactly the answer that David wanted to hear. Sometimes he worried Jack wasn’t in love with him. Even if Crutchie said he had nothing to worry about, it was still in his head. Even more worrisome was the thought that maybe...he wasn’t in love with Jack either.

The more he worried, the more he thought of ways he could better their relationship. When school started up again, he thought of the perfect solution and wondered why he hadn’t thought of it before.

Which brings us back to, “I’m going to give him my virginity.”

“What?” Crutchie sounded both shocked and amused.

“For his birthday. I mean, we’ve been together for almost four months and...I think it’s time. I’m seventeen, he’s going to be seventeen. He’d like that, wouldn’t he?”

“I mean, yes. But...as an actual gift? I thought you’d write him a poem or something, not...Your body.”

“Well, I could write the poem on my chest.”

“That sounds hard.”

“You could write the poem on my chest.”

“You could write the poem on a paper. And leave it at that.”

David knew that it sounded like a stupid idea. But he couldn’t think of any other way to keep Jack around. He thought maybe that was the reason he’d been spending less time with him. If they were having sex, they’d at least have fun again. The last time they were making out, he’d even considered letting Jack touch him below the belt.

He didn’t want to be afraid of sex. It wasn’t even the act that scared him. He just wanted it to be perfect. Or at least, he wanted his first time to be perfect. And he knew Jack would be perfect. It was probably another thing he was good at.

“Are you...ready to lose your virginity?” Crutchie asked, curiously.

“I mean, is there such thing as being ready?”

“Yes. You need condoms, lube, a location.”

“Oh, I thought you meant emotionally.”

“That too.”

“I’ll be ready.”

He had to be. Because if that didn’t fix his relationship with Jack...He wasn’t ready to think about that.

* * *

“Better than Jack.” The words rang in Crutchie’s head as he went back over every detail of summer. He’d kept his own word of doing whatever he could to keep Jack and Davey together. Not that Jack was making that easy for him. He’d been there all summer to reassure Davey that everything was fine with Jack, even though he wasn’t at all sure that was the case. Davey wasn’t the only one to notice how odd Jack had been acting, and the fact that he seemed to be avoiding both of them concerned him.

Still, it meant that he got to spend more time with Davey when they both waited for Jack to get off work. The more the weeks passed by, the more the Penthouse seemed to become his place with Davey instead of his place with Jack. The closer he got to Davey, the more his feelings went through a change. He hadn’t lied to Davey. He would always love Jack. But Crutchie began to realize that Jack wasn’t the only one taking residence in his heart anymore. That concerned him even more.

One night, Crutchie got on his phone and opened up a gay dating app. He wasn’t stupid and knew that most people used them for sex. Ever since he’d lost his virginity, he hadn’t gone on the app because his sexual cravings had been satisfied. Besides, Crutchie only ever really opened up the app when he was feeling lonely and bored.

He looked through the older men and the messages he immediately received, but no one caught his interest. It seemed pointless to have the app downloaded if he still wasn’t going to hook up with anyone. Then he saw a familiar face and he smiled to himself. It was Spot Conlon. He decided to message him.

“What are you into?” he sent.

“Not this app.”

“Then why are you on it?”

“Cause it’s part of the gay experience, right?”

“Meh. I can show you the gay experience. If you want.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Pick me up.” Crutchie sent Spot his location and got ready, putting a few condoms and several packets of lube in his pocket. He didn’t know how many he would need.

Spot picked him up in a red Jeep, which he couldn’t help but think was cool. The thought of having sex in it was cooler.

“Hey,” he said to Spot as he got in.

“Hey,” Spot repeated. He seemed tense, giving him a quick smile and barely looking Crutchie in the eye. “Where are we going?”

“Just go straight, I’ll tell you where to turn.”

Spot laughed nervously. “Heh, straight.”

Crutchie led them to the parking lot of Mush Park. He knew there was a hiking trail that went up the hill behind the lot, but he’d never gone because of his bad leg. However, the reason they were there was because Mush Park, or at least the parking lot, was infamous for breeding stories about lost virginities and virus-swapping.

“Wait...I know this place,” Spot said as he turned off the engine. “This is that place where people come to make out.”

“You ever been here?”

“Yeah. I mean, no. Not to make out. Just to go on the hike up the hill. Maybe to see what the big deal was. Just a bit curious, you know. It was when I was younger. I came with...my best friend at the time.”

“You can say Jack. He’s told me everything about what happened between you. He always tells me everything.”

“Everything?”

“Every gritty detail.”

“And you don’t think I’m a horrible person?”

“Nah. We all make mistakes. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” Spot nodded guiltily. “So you were curious about this place, huh?”

“Well yeah, when you’re a kid, you wanna know what the older kids are doing.”

“And uh...are you still curious?” Crutchie gently put his hand on Spot’s leg. They both looked at each other for a few seconds and then they started kissing.

It only lasted about a minute before Crutchie reached down to Spot’s pants and Spot pulled them apart. “Wait, wait, wait. I didn’t...I didn’t come here to do this.”

Crutchie furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean? You said you wanted the gay experience.”

“I thought...I thought you were gonna show me the gay hangout spots or something.”

“So you don’t want to have sex with me?”

“I don’t...not want to. I mean, you’re good looking. I’m just not into...casual sex or whatever.”

“You were on a gay hookup app…”

“I was on a gay  _ dating _ app. Trying to find a date. But I guess I shouldn’t be on there anyway, since I’m too young.”

Crutchie smiled. “You’re just a goody two-shoes, aren’t you? And here I thought you were a badass scary wrestling dude.”

“Is it so bad being a goody two-shoes?

“I guess not. Just feels like false advertising.”

“Well, you’re not as innocent as you seem. That’s false advertising too.”

“If you’re all smiles all the time, people don’t really try to get to know you. They think they have you all figured out, so you don’t really have to get close to anyone.”

“Same if you’re all frowns. No one wants to get close to you.”

“I guess it all depends on who you let in.”

“Or who lets you in.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds again and then Spot looked away.

“So you want to date, huh?” Crutchie finally asked.

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“I guess I can show you the gay hangout spots. Maybe you can find a nice goody two-shoes boy to go out with.”

“I’d like that.”

Crutchie and Spot met weekly after that and they would go to spaces that Crutchie considered at least queer. They’d arrive and Crutchie would try to find a seat to himself, telling Spot to go flirt with a guy. Spot, however, would mostly stick with Crutchie, talking to him and trying to get to know more about him. Crutchie almost felt sorry for him, but he didn’t want to outright tell him that he didn’t want to date him.

Eventually, they would get physically closer during their outings and end up going back to Spot’s car to make out. Spot would stop it before it got too far, and Crutchie would try to end the night as soon as it was over. That way, they both felt like they hadn’t gotten anywhere with the other.

School time came and they saw each other less. Crutchie thought it was for the best. Spot wanted something he was never going to give him, and vice versa. Spot was a nice guy, but he just didn’t have feelings for him. Things would have been easier if he had, and he knew that, but he wasn’t going to force himself to be with someone that wouldn’t make him happy. Having already tried that with Jojo, he considered himself lucky it ended civilly.

One day in September, however, Spot insisted they hang out. Crutchie didn’t particularly feel like going out, so he invited him to his apartment. His foster parents had gone out on a date night, so the two were all alone.

At first they just watched a movie. Crutchie loved horror movies and Spot hadn’t watched many so he decided to educate him with Scream. Unfortunately, Crutchie was more interested in the movie than Spot was. He kept catching him staring at him. They were in close proximity so Crutchie could tell Spot was nervous. Maybe it was because they were both home alone in his bedroom. He supposed he wasn’t nervous himself because it was his space. And the two other guys that had been on his bed were just friends and would always just be friends.

But Spot was different. He was in that in-between zone. They had made out so many times, and Crutchie considered him a friend, but he wasn’t his best friend, and he wasn’t his boyfriend. He stared right back at Spot, before stating, “Fuck it.”

There was something different about being in his bedroom versus being in Spot’s car. For one, they had more room, and being on a bed, it was more comfortable. Crutchie was able to pull Spot on top of him as they kissed, and later push him over and climb on top of him when he needed to unbutton his pants.

The sex was just as hot as Crutchie had hoped. Jojo had been too worried about hurting Crutchie, so his first time had been underwhelming. But with Spot, it was like his instincts took over. He’d been worried at first, but Crutchie assured him he was fine. As he finished, he collapsed on top of Spot, breathing fast, their heartbeats in sync. Spot wrapped his arms around him, caressing his back gently.

“Was I good?” Crutchie asked.

“Better than Jack,” Spot said with a quiet chuckle.

Crutchie lifted his head to look at Spot. “What the fuck?”

“Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. I don’t know why I…”

“Wait...you were serious.”

“I...well, yeah. It wasn’t a lie, but I still shouldn’t have…”

“When did you and Jack have sex?”

“At the beginning of summer…? I went to his place to apologize and then one thing led to another...I...I thought you knew. You said you knew. You said he’d told you everything.”

“Yeah, about when you used to be friends. How he tried to kiss you and you beat the shit out of him. That’s it.”

“So...not anything recent.”

“No.”

The two boys separated and sat at opposite ends of the bed thinking for a few seconds. Crutchie’s initial instinct was that it was a lie. Jack would never do anything like that to Davey. And even if he did, he would have told him.

But then he started to think about how Jack had been avoiding both Davey and him all summer. If it was the truth, then there was some sense in it. There would be no reason for Spot to lie, but there would be a reason for Jack to feel guilty enough to want to see his best friend and his boyfriend as little as possible.

Spot began gathering his clothes and putting them on. Before leaving, he turned to Crutchie and said, “I’m sorry.” But really, it was Crutchie who was sorry, because now he had a really difficult decision to make.

* * *

“Would you like to come in?” Jack asked. “Catch up?”

He hadn’t expected any of what was happening. When he found Spot Conlon at his door, he was half afraid he was there to beat him up again. Except this time, Jack would give back as much as he got. But Spot had been there to apologize. So he invited him in.

“Sit down. You remember where the couch is, right?” Spot nodded and walked over to sit on the living room couch. Jack went into the kitchen and got each of them a glass of water. “So, catch up. What’s been going on with you since...we stopped talking?”

“Honestly, not much. Most of the changes in my life have happened in the past few months. After I...stopped talking to you, I knew I had to find a better outlet for my aggression so...wrestling it was. And turns out I’m good at it.”

Jack returned with the water and sat down next to Spot. “That’s good that you found an outlet. I always say art’s a good outlet but I guess sports work too. They’re kind of like an art.”

“Yeah, I mean, wrestling is practically yoga with a partner.” They laughed.

“So, how did the whole gay thing come about?”

“Oh, well...I guess you can say wrestling wasn’t enough of an outlet. I tried to suppress it. Even got a girlfriend…”

“Sarah.”

“Yeah. But that didn’t work out. I met this guy. He was really insistent and annoying and...I couldn’t resist him.”

“Do I know him?”

“He’s in your gay club. Racetrack.”

“Ah, yeah,” Jack replied with an air of familiarity. “Race was my first gay experience too.”

“Really?”

“He’s a little hottie. And you’re right. He’s irresistible. But also unacquirable.”

“I learned that the hard way I guess.”

“You’ll find someone else.”

“Maybe. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What have you been up to since we stopped talking?”

“Hooking up with Race. Starting the gay club, as you call it. Dating people I shouldn’t have.”

“But your boyfriend now? David. You’re good with him, right?”

Jack shifted in his seat, not wanting to let on that maybe things weren’t perfect. But his silence said a lot anyway.

“Or not good?”

Jack drank his water, trying to think of how to word it. He knew Spot meant well. He’d always been a good guy other than when he beat him up. But he also knew he was close to Sarah and that anything he said about David might get back to her.

“Sorry,” Spot spoke after a second. “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.”

Jack put his glass down and sighed. “I love him. I just...don’t think I’m in love with him. And I don’t think he’s in love with me either. I...I’m gonna have to break up with him and set us both free. There’s not point in going further since...I don’t think we can. I just don’t want to hurt him.”

“I see. I suppose it’s better to let him know so that neither of you have to spend more time pretending there’s something there that there isn’t.”

“Yeah, I mean, why waste his time and mine? The person I’m meant to be with could be...right in front of me.”

Spot and Jack met eyes and quickly laughed it off, though Jack could see a slight redness reach Spot’s cheeks. Of course, he’d been talking about Crutchie. There had always been something between the two of them. But he could never be with Crutchie. Then again, before Crutchie, there was Spot. Jack had always wanted something to happen between them until that day he’d tried to kiss him.

A thought went through Jack’s head. If things were truly over with Davey, and he could never work things out with Crutchie, maybe he and Spot could pick up where they’d left off.

“Guess we’re all caught up, huh?” Spot said, before taking a sip of his water. “I should be off.”

Before Spot could move, Jack put his hand on his arm. “Wait. Don’t...don’t leave. I...missed you.”

Spot looked down at Jack’s hand. “Jack…”

“Please...call me Cowboy.”

“Cowboy…” Spot looked up at Jack’s eyes again and Jack could feel the other boy’s heart beating faster. “Really, I think I should go.”

“Please...stay.” Jack begged with his eyes. Spot looked at each of them, going back and forth.

Finally, he said, “Okay.”

Jack took that as a sign and leaned in. Their lips touched and immediately there was a fight for dominance. It was something they both had wanted for a long time. And they wanted to make up for lost time. Clothes started coming off as they made their way to Jack’s bedroom. Each of their heads hit a wall at least once before they finally got into bed.

They finished quickly, and then lay there for a few minutes before they began kissing again, starting once more. Their second time was slower, but just as passionate. It was something they both had to get out of their system.

Before they could go at it a third time, however, they heard a knock at the front door. They stopped and remained quiet. Jack’s phone began to vibrate and when he picked it up, he saw Davey was the one calling. He didn’t answer, but let it go to voicemail.

He didn’t need to listen to it to realize he had just made a mistake. He looked at Spot who looked just as guilty. Their temporary moment of bliss was gone.

The two got dressed slowly before making sure the coast was clear outside the apartment. “Can we keep this between us?” he asked Spot. The shorter boy nodded. Jack ran his fingers through Spot’s hair and down to the back of his neck, pulling him in for a soft, quick kiss. “I really did miss you.”

“I missed you too, Cowboy.”

Spot left seconds later, and Jack went back to his phone. He listened to Davey’s voicemail message and frowned. Davey told him he loved him. It would’ve been easier if Davey had never said it, because at least then Jack would’ve broken it off with him knowing he wasn’t as invested in the relationship. But now that he’d heard the voicemail, he knew he couldn’t break up with him. He knew he had to stay with him. At least for a while.

Over the next few weeks he got a summer job at Jacobi’s, thinking that maybe spending less time with Davey would assuage his guilt, as well as Davey’s feelings for him. He tried spending less time with Crutchie as well. He knew if he spent too much time with him, he’d end up telling him about Spot. And if he told him about Spot, he might be compelled to tell him his other secrets. As for Spot, he couldn't see him again. Not that Spot tried either. Whatever they had, was gone again. Hearing from Davey that Spot and Crutchie were talking was devastating.

He focused all his energy on his job and on trying to work things out with Davey. It was the least he could do after everything that had happened. Even if he wasn’t in love with him, he could learn to be. Besides, they were happy. And when school started again, they were reminded they were the school’s it gay couple.

Jack still worked a couple hours after school at Jacobi’s since he liked having money. He still spent a minimum amount of time with Crutchie and Davey, having gotten used to it after a couple of months. So it was a bit surprising when he got a text from Crutchie to meet him up in the Penthouse. It felt like it had been forever since he’d even gone up there.

When he went, Crutchie was waiting for him in their favorite lawn chair. Jack sat next to him, putting his arm around him. “What’s going on, buddy?”

Crutchie immediately threw off Jack’s arm and got up, turning around to face him. Jack was shocked. In all the time he’d known Crutchie, he’d never acted that way towards him. He didn’t know what to say or do. “You and Spot.”

Jack instantly knew what he was talking about. Jack had thought about it all summer. He’d felt guilty about it all summer. He’d fantasized about it all summer. “There is no me and Spot.”

“No. But there was.” Jack just nodded, putting his face in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me, Jack?” Jack shook his head and threw up his arms with a shrug. “Why did you do it?”

“Because I make poor choices.”

“I thought...I thought you loved Davey. It...it doesn’t make sense to me. Why would you do that to him?”

“Because I’m a fuck up. Because I always ruin relationships. Because...I thought Davey didn’t love me. So I thought...maybe I’ll break up with him and save us both time and effort. And then…”

“Then he told you he loved you.”

“Yes. And so I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break up with him. And I couldn’t keep seeing Spot. And I couldn’t tell you.”

“Why? You always tell me everything.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t, Crutchie. I don’t tell you everything. That’s why. I can’t tell you everything. I love you, but I can’t.”

Crutchie was silent for a minute and then he sat back down next to Jack. Jack looked at him, wondering what he was thinking. Was their friendship over? Would he help him out and keep this secret from Davey? He was worried, but he was also glad someone else knew now.

“You have to tell him.” Jack’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You have to tell Davey. You have to tell him that you cheated on him.”

“Crutch…”

“You have to tell him or I will.”

“I can’t.”

“Before your birthday. You’ve caused enough damage, Jack. And I won’t let you cause more. Before your birthday.” With that, he got up again and hobbled off.

Jack sat there for an hour thinking about what he would do, but he still had no idea. All he could hope for was that his year wouldn’t get any worse. Unfortunately, it would.


	2. Breaksies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets a birthday surprise.  
> Spot fears the loss of a friendship.  
> Race makes a new friend named Henry.  
> Katherine figures out what she wants to blog about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is coming like 2 months after the first chapter. I've been on a tv binge which is never good for me. I watched all of Orphan Black and Voltron: Legendary Defender as well as other shows. I also have an AMC A List pass so I've been watching at least 1 movie per week. I'm still figuring out how I want to write this book so I'm taking my time with it apparently. I'm going to try to write more in the coming weeks and watch less tv, but I'm not making any promises. I hope you all had wonderful holidays like I did. Happy belated new year and enjoy this chapter. <3 <3 <3

The day of Jack’s birthday had come and he still hadn’t told Davey. He didn’t know what he was waiting for. Maybe part of him wanted Crutchie to tell Davey so that he wouldn’t have to. Or maybe part of him didn’t believe Crutchie would actually do it. He just hoped all the guilt and all his problems would just go away.

It was a Saturday so they didn’t have school. Crutchie had sent him a ‘Happy Birthday’ text at midnight and he’d thanked him, but he hadn’t said anything else. He hadn’t brought up the ultimatum he’d given him ever since he gave it, so Jack wondered if he’d changed his mind or if he was waiting until the end of the day to bring it up. Jack decided to put the whole subject at the back of his mind. It was his birthday after all.

His dad had gone to work. The slam of the apartment door was what had woken Jack up. He didn’t think his dad even remembered it was his birthday. It wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Jack ate cereal for breakfast and then began playing video games for a couple of hours.

Around noon, he heard a knock at the door. He paused the game to see who it was, and was surprised to see Davey there.

“Happy birthday, Jack,” he said, not waiting for a response and attacking him with a hug. Jack hugged him back, forming his first smile of the day.

“Thank you,” he replied. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see my boyfriend on his special day. I texted you I was coming.”

Jack let him into the apartment and closed the door. He had left his phone charging in his room so he went to get it. He’d gotten several birthday messages along with the one Davey sent saying he was coming over.

He headed back to the living room, turning off the video game console and the tv and sitting next to Davey on the couch. “Thanks for coming. Uh...do you have something planned?” Jack always got happy whenever Davey had something planned. It was usually something nerdy, but he always ended up enjoying it.

“I mean...not really. Kinda. I have a proposition for you.”

“I’m all ears.”

Davey took a deep breath and took Jack’s hands in his. “So, we’ve been together a while now. And I know you’ve been patient with me. I know that you’ve been faithful and loyal and…”

Jack began to feel a bit guilty. He almost wanted yank his hands away and confess then and there. He still had time.

“I just...I’ve been thinking about it lately,” Davey continued. “And I think I’m ready. No, I know I’m ready. I...I want to have sex with you. Today. On your birthday. As your birthday present.”

Jack knew it wasn’t too late to say something. But the way Davey was looking at him made him feel other things. It was as if he was giving him puppy dog eyes along with sultry eyes. It confused Jack, but it felt like Davey was begging him to agree to it.

And Jack had wanted it for a while. So much so, he sometimes blamed his lack of sex for his infidelity with Spot. If he had sex with Davey, maybe their relationship would get better. If he had sex with Davey, maybe Crutchie would know that Jack wasn’t going to stray any more and he wouldn’t say anything. Jack couldn’t help but think that maybe sleeping with Davey would solve all his problems.

“That would be the best birthday present ever,” he replied.

Davey looked surprised for a few seconds but then smiled. “Let’s take this to the bedroom then.” He pulled Jack to his room and pushed him down on the bed. Without missing a beat, he yanked Jack’s shirt off and began unbuttoning his pants. Jack tried to stop him to give him a kiss, but Davey pushed him back so he was lying down. Davey pulled Jack’s pants and underwear off and then stood up, observing his boyfriend. Jack was fully excited, a curious smile on his face. His last smile of the day.

“So, you were really just gonna fuck me?”

Jack gave him a confused look. “Well, you wanted me to…”

“Jack, I know.”

He still didn’t get it.

“Crutchie told me.”

“Oh.”

“Oh. Oh? That’s all you have to say?”

Apparently it was. He made no attempt to say anything. He suddenly felt exposed. He wanted to put his pants back on, but Davey still had them in his hand.

“You know, what hurts me the most is that you didn’t just tell me. I probably could have forgiven you. If it was just a one time thing, then maybe I could’ve been like...Hey, no one’s perfect. But no, you didn’t tell me. And on top of that, you were gonna let me...I was going to lose my virginity to you. I...I thought I loved you. I thought you loved me.”

“I did…”

“Did?”

“I don’t know…” Jack decided to be honest for the first time in a long time. “I guess I just stopped loving you somewhere after I stopped loving myself. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have let it go this far. I just...I thought if I just forgot about it, it would all work itself out.”

“Well, congratulations,” Davey said, an unwavering expression on his face. “It all worked itself out. You’re dumped.” Their eyes lingered on each other’s before Davey threw his pants at his face.

Jack heard the front door slam for the second time that day. He didn’t even feel like crying. He almost felt relief, which only made him feel worse about himself.

By the next day, he’d resolved to at least apologize to Crutchie for putting him in that position. He hoped he could fix things a little at a time. It was the only thing he could do to keep all the bad thoughts away.

When he knocked on Crutchie’s door, his foster mom answered. Crutchie came out a minute later, but stayed leaning against the door. “I’m not talking to you.”

“What? Crutchie…”

“I mean it, Jack.”

“I just came to apologize.”

“It’s too late. You made me tell him. And now he won’t talk to me. So I’m not talking to you.”

“Crutchie, you’re my best friend…”

“And Davey’s mine.”

That stung more than it should have.

“If I don’t have you…”

“You’ll survive, Jack. I’m not your first best friend. I won’t be your last. You’re good at moving on fast so...you’ll be fine.” With that, Crutchie went back inside.

Jack didn’t even make it back to his apartment before the tears came pouring out.

* * *

The day of wrestling tryouts, Spot woke up with a smile on his face. He’d convinced Principal Pulitzer and Coach Weisel to allow girls on the wrestling team, which not only meant that he’d have an all around better team, but also that he could have Sarah there as his right hand woman. With Hot Shot and Tommy Boy having graduated back at the beginning of summer, he knew he was going to need some really good wrestlers to beat the other schools they’d be competing against.

He got ready and was set to go and have a great day, but as he left the house, he saw someone waiting by the sidewalk. Someone he hadn’t really spoken to in a couple of months. Or rather, someone who hadn’t spoken to him.

“Jack,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

Ever since he’d slept with Jack, he’d been feeling guilty. At first he’d expected a breakup. He’d texted Jack to see what was going on, but he never got a reply. He figured Jack had gotten what he wanted and just didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. A repeat of what had happened with Race. Just casual sex with no attachments. It upset him, but there was nothing he could do about it because it was partly his fault.

The next time he’d seen Jack, he was with David and they looked happy. He knew he couldn’t start any drama with Jack without letting David find out the truth about what happened. And he didn’t want to hurt his best friend’s brother. So he forced himself to forget about Jack. It worked out since Crutchie started showing an interest in him. But that had turned out to be a bust too.

Ever since he’d slept with Crutchie, he’d been expecting something to happen. But nothing happened for a few weeks except Crutchie stopped talking to him. Everything else was the same. He had just gotten used to it, so when Jack showed up in front of his house, it was a surprise. Something had happened and he bet it had to do with Crutchie.

“I’m here to apologize,” Jack replied. He looked sincere but maybe that was just what he wanted him to think. “I know I’ve been an asshole ever since...summer. I just want to explain myself.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Jack.” Spot kept walking towards his car. “You and David are together and that’s that.”

“We were.”

Spot paused at that, but then shook his head. If that was true, it would explain why he was finally apologizing. He had every opportunity to do so earlier, but now he was only doing it because it was convenient. He continued to the Jeep and opened the door, throwing his backpack in. Jack had followed.

“Spot, please. Let me explain.”

Spot turned around and Jack was too close for comfort. “Jack…”

“Do I have to beg? I’ll do it.” He got down on his knees and put his hands together. There was no sign on his face that he was joking. It threw Spot off so he didn’t say anything. “I swear I had every intention of breaking up with Davey. But...he told me he loved me. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just break his heart like that.”

“So what finally gave you the nerve to do it? Crutchie?”

Jack looked down and Spot knew he felt a twinge of guilt and pain. “Yeah. He basically gave me an ultimatum. So...everything’s out in the open now. Davey knows. He broke up with me.”

Spot felt a bit sorry for him, but at the same time knew he had it coming. It was more distressing to hear that David knew everything. He’d probably tell Sarah and who knew what Sarah would think. He had to find a way to fix things with David and he knew the only way he could do that was through Sarah. He had to talk to her. Spot turned and got inside his car, closing the door.

“Spot!” Jack yelled, getting up from his kneeling position and looking at him through the driver window. “I felt relief. I didn’t feel sad. I...I realized that he’s not the one I want to be with.”

Spot didn’t want to hear the next words so he turned the engine on.

“I want to be with you. You get me. I need you. And you need me.”

Spot put the gear shift in drive and told Jack, “You might want to back up.” He did so and Spot sped off to school, thinking about what he was going to say to Sarah. Jack had an explanation ready, but he didn’t.

He didn’t see Sarah all day, but he knew she’d be at the wrestling tryouts. Unless she’d already been filled in and decided she wanted nothing to do with him. In which case, there was a possibility she might not try out. That would just be the icing on the shitty cake he’d created.

Luckily, Sarah was at the tryouts, as well as a few other girls and boys he’d seen before, but not officially met. However, she seemed a little off, which told Spot that David had probably talked to her, but that she hadn’t made up her mind on whether to cut him off or not. That made him feel a little better, but when he looked around to see if Jojo was there to cheer everyone on and saw he wasn’t, the sense of uneasiness crept back up. He was mostly quiet as Coach Wiesel took over the tryouts.

Naturally, Sarah made it on the team, as well as another girl named Smalls, and a couple of twins named Mike and Ike. He congratulated them and then cautiously approached Sarah to talk to her.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” she responded.

He waited for her to say something, just in case he was wrong and David hadn’t told her anything. He wondered if he should tell her anyway. He knew he’d feel better if everything was out in the open. Then again, if David hadn’t told her, maybe there was a reason for that. The last thing he wanted to do was make David life any worse than he’d already made it. So he waited.

“Spot…” she started, but it seemed like she didn’t exactly know what to say or how to say what she wanted to say. “I know about you and Jack.”

Spot went red. He had the feeling she’d known, but actual confirmation temporarily felt worse than not knowing. “Okay…”

“And...I love you, Spot. But...right now my brother is in a lot of pain. And...he’s my twin. He comes first.”

Spot just nodded.

“I still want to be your friend. I still want you in my life. But…”

He held his breath.

“I don’t think I can fully be your friend for a while. I need to take care of my brother and his needs. Until he’s okay and he’s ready to accept an apology from you, I think it’s best that you stay away. And until then, I don’t think we can hang out as much. Of course, I’ll still be part of this team and we can wrestle our way to victory but...let’s just leave it at that, okay?”

“Yeah. Of course. Thank you.” He gave a nod and she returned it before leaving the gym.

He thought about it a lot as he walked back to his car, and more as he headed home, but it wasn’t until after he finished dinner that he’d made up his mind. He didn’t have Sarah, he apparently didn’t have Jojo, and he knew he was never going to have Race or Crutchie. But at least there was one person that did want him.

He called Jack and told him he would give him a chance. Because having someone was better than having no one. Hopefully it would become something he wouldn’t regret.

* * *

The LGBTQ+ Club meeting after Jack and Davey’s breakup was almost awkward. Although it was unspoken and the details weren’t clear, everyone knew by then. It felt like hell for Race because he wanted to talk to Jojo about it and theorize about what happened. His own opinion was that Jack had cheated on Davey with Crutchie. He noticed how all three of them were kind of ignoring each other. Then again, looking around the room, it felt like everyone was ignoring each other.

Miss Medda tried to get everyone hyped by asking some of the new kids to introduce themselves. Race paid close attention. With him and Jojo on the outs, he was on the lookout for a new best friend, maybe a new fuck buddy. Or vice versa.

A girl with a camera stood up and introduced herself as Sniper. “I’m a photographer so if you need some pics for your flyer or something, I work for food.” She snapped a photo of the class, saying, “That one’s on me.”

The next person up was a really cute black kid dressed in a way Race could only describe as fashionable. Mostly because they were wearing a flashy red bowtie. He was immediately intrigued. “Hi, my name is Henry. My pronouns are they/them, but I won’t flay you if you forget. Unless you’re into that.” Race was doubly intrigued. 

Before every meeting officially started, there was usually a trust exercise to build morale, help people make new friends, and to overall create a safe space within the club. Miss Medda told everyone to choose a partner for the exercise, and before she was done with her sentence, Race was up and headed directly towards Henry.

“Hey, Henry, right?”

Henry gave him a smile and nodded. “Yeah. Would you like to be my partner?”

“I would love to. I’m Race.”

They shook hands as they turned to Medda to hear what exercise they would be doing. Race looked around the room to see who else had partnered up. Unsurprisingly, He wasn’t surprised to see Romeo partnered up with Specs, but was very surprised to see Crutchie partnered with Jojo. However, nothing prepared him for the pairing up of Jack and Spot, who he’d never even seen interact. Especially after Spot had told him that he’d once beaten up Jack for trying to kiss him.

Race looked to see Davey’s reaction, but he seemed to be ignoring them. His partner, Sarah, seemed to be a bit sad about it. Katherine, who had partnered with Sniper, had the most shocked reaction, but they all turned to Miss Medda as soon as her explanation began.

They would each take turns drawing a picture. One person would hold a card with a drawing and describe it to the other person who would be trying to draw based on the description they received. There were a lot of laughs throughout the exercise, especially from Henry when Race was the one drawing.

“So you draw a triangle in the middle,” they said. “Well, more like an upside down heart.”

“Like a human heart?” Race replied. “‘Cause I can’t really draw that. I’ve never had one of my own so…”

“You’re silly. Above that, to the left and right draw a circle.”

“So one circle or two circles?”

“Two circles.”

“Okay, okay...Wait, is this...Is this a face?”

“Maybe…”

“Maybe? How is it maybe a face?”

“You’ll know what it is when you finish drawing it, won’t you?”

“I’m no artist, so it’s probably not gonna look anything like you hope it is.”

When it was Henry’s turn to draw, Race tried to make his descriptions as convoluted as possible. He almost lost track, though, when he heard a very familiar laugh coming from the other end of the room. He had to look to remember that it was Spot’s laugh. He hadn’t heard it in a long time. It still felt weird to see that it was Jack that had caused it. Race looked back at his card and continued describing the drawing.

When it was all done, everyone had a drawing to take home and smiles on their faces. The meeting went on and when it was over, Race tapped Henry on the shoulder.

“So where do you usually hang out during lunch?” he asked.

“The library,” they answered. “I like to get some of my homework done so I don’t have to do it at home. Why?”

“I don’t know...Wanna start a study group?”

“We don’t have any of the same classes together. I don’t even think we’re in the same grade.”

“What grade are you in?”

“I’m a junior. You?”

“I’m a senior. You hang out with me and you’ll be cool by association.”

“I’m already cool,” Henry said, using their hand to flip whatever short hair they had.

“You right. But...we don’t have to study the same things. You can study your thing, and I can study mine.”

“Race, you seem like trouble. With a capital T, that rhymes with C, that stands for Can’t, sorry.”

“Can’t?”

“I’m a very busy woman, and I haven’t got all day. I need my study lunches to myself if I want to get into a good college. Junior year is the most important year that colleges look at so I want to put my all into this.”

“Is there anytime you aren’t busy?”

Henry sighed and took a notebook out of their backpack. “Tell you what. You write down your phone number, and if I’m ever not busy, I’ll hit you up. Does that sound good?”

“What do I get in return?”

Henry smiled and searched back in their backpack, taking out the page where they had drawn a rooster that almost matched perfectly to the one Race had described during the trust exercise. They handed it over. “This sufficient?” 

Race nodded happily and wrote down his number in the notebook when Henry handed him a pen. “I hope you’re not busy very soon.”

“We’ll see, Race.”

“You’re really cute, you know that?”

Henry looked up from putting their notebook away and smiled again. Race knew then that his flirting game was still strong. Until Henry got up and nodded, stating, “Yes.”

They walked away and Race felt like instead of being thanked for his compliment, he’d just been told he was welcome. But that only made him more interested in Henry. He looked at the rooster drawing and wondered what other talents they had hidden.

* * *

It had been weeks since she’d written anything for herself. She’d written for school, but ever since the school paper went defunct, Katherine hadn’t been inspired to write anything. She was desperate to start her blog, but she couldn’t think of anything to write about. And she couldn’t stop thinking about Sarah.

She had been so sure that when Sarah kissed her back it meant she liked her. But when she just ignored the kiss, Katherine was confused. Sarah never brought it up so she never even had the chance to take it back if she wanted to. She couldn’t bring it up herself because then it might create drama that she didn’t need between herself and Sarah. And Sarah was the only person she could think of talking about love interests to because she didn’t have anyone else.

Katherine had tried to forget about the kiss, but the more she told herself to forget about it, the more she thought about it. Somehow she felt that the reason she couldn’t think of what to write had to do with this feeling of arrested development between herself and Sarah and that once she dealt with either problem, the other would solve itself.

She sat at the computer lab just staring at a blank document, willing herself to write something. Anything. She could feel someone watching her so she turned to see Sniper sitting at a table near her. Katherine smiled and nodded, but turned back to her screen.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Sniper. She thought she was an interesting girl, but there was something off about her. Katherine didn’t like to judge before she knew someone so she decided to ignore this feeling as well and just let her be. As long as Sniper kept her distance, she’d be fine. Part of her thought about Sarah again and how she’d thought almost the same about her when they met.

The computer lab door opened and she looked up to see who it was. She saw David and they smiled at each other. He sat down at the computer next to hers.

“Still working on that blog?” he asked.

She shrugged, key smashing gibberish onto her document and then highlighting everything to delete it. “I’m not feeling very inspired.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Katherine wondered if it had anything to do with his recent breakup with Jack. That part was evident, though she still wondered what had caused it. Seeing Jack and Spot Conlon getting along so well gave her an idea, but she didn’t want to assume. And she didn’t want to bring up such a touchy subject when talking with David. “So I checked out some books from the library to see if I could get inspired.”

“What are you looking to get inspired to do?” She was hoping David would help her write for her blog. She felt more comfortable with it being a collaborative project than just something she did by herself. That’s why she’d agreed to Sniper being her photographer. It reminded her of working on the school paper. Not that she wanted people to boss around, but just that she wanted people around in general. Now that Bill and Darcy had graduated, she only had David and Sarah.

“I don’t know. I’ve been holed up in my room watching a lot of movies so…” He showed her a book on filmmaking that he had. “Thought I might dabble in this.”

“What else you got?” she asked, eager to see what other books he’d chosen. She was an avid reader so she always had a book in her backpack or on her phone for when she had free time. Even if she couldn’t write at the moment, she could always read.

He showed her the other two books in his hand: a memoir by some internet celebrity she’d never heard of, and a book she was recently familiar with as she’d read it that summer. “Wuthering Heights?”

“I saw you reading it at our birthday party.”

“Oh darn...I didn’t think you’d seen me.”

“It’s okay. I know you’re not really the partying type of girl. Besides, it was very PG compared to the party Jojo had in the spring. There was no spin the bottle to keep us distracted.”

“Still, I’m sorry if it seemed rude of me.”

“Not at all. I had to step away for a bit too. I’m not the best at parties either. Especially hosting parties. I mean, we could even go as far as saying it was Sarah’s party.”

Katherine gave a quiet laugh in reply and then pointed back at the book. “What are you expecting from Wuthering Heights?”

“Not sure. A happy ending?”

“It depends on how you look at it. It’s mostly happy. Though if you ask me, it’s more of a tragedy.”

“I am definitely asking you. Should I take it back?”

“No. Just cause I think it’s a tragedy doesn’t mean I think it’s bad.”

“I’ve heard it was a love story.”

“Partly. It’s a love story like how Romeo and Juliet is a love story.”

“Do they die for no reason in the end?”

“First off, I wouldn’t say Romeo and Juliet die for no reason,” Katherine said passionately. If there was anything she loved, it was having a debate. If there was anything she loved more, it was having a debate about literature. “But Wuthering Heights is kind of a love story where the people in love just make stupid choices that lead to their downfall.”

“Ah. Relatable.”

Katherine stifled a laugh, remembering he’d just gone through a breakup. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel uncomfortable. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong.” David sighed and put the books in his backpack. “After all, you warned me.”

“I...what?”

“Remember...before Jack and I were together...The day I joined the school paper, in fact. You told me that Jack moves on quickly. And that’s the reason you didn’t work out.”

“Oh.” She felt bad about that. She felt bad that he still remembered she’d said that and wondered if her words had left an imprint in his brain whenever he thought about Jack. She had wanted them to work out. They were all friends again and everything was great until now. “I never meant for that to stick in your head. I kind of exaggerated a little. I wasn’t over him at the time and...the thought of him with anyone new just kind of upset me. I wasn’t even thinking that you had a thing for him. I just...I guess I wanted to paint him in a bad light to make myself feel better. And I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Well, in the end it ended up being true, didn’t it?” David looked down at his hands and Katherine wondered whether to ask him more about it or not. She didn’t want to be nosy, but she did want him to be comfortable talking to her.

“Do you...want to talk about it?”

He shook his head lightly, but then answered, “There’s not much to talk about is there? I mean, it’s all out in the open isn’t it? You saw how Jack was with Spot at the club meeting. I thought...I thought he’d at least wait a few weeks. Or a month. Or something. But no, he’s just being all public about it. With the guy he cheated with. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. But...if I’m being completely honest...It’s more embarrassing than anything else. I don’t mind losing Jack. I’m not sad about breaking up with him. We haven’t really been a couple in a long time. It’s the fact that he cheated on me and then...the fact he hid it. Like, I could have wasted my life with him all while he was out and about with other people and I would’ve just gone along with it like the naive little boy I am…”

“David,” Katherine had to stop him. “You’re not naive. And you broke it off with him. The fact is that you didn’t waste your life with him. You didn’t let him try to slither his way back in. You did good. You made the right choice. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I know. I just...I wish he wasn’t so public about it. I wish I didn’t care about what other people thought. At least I can say I didn’t give him my virginity. I almost did, Kath. And he was going to let me. How could I have fallen for such an…”

“We all have our flaws, David.” She thought back to her time with Jack and remembered she’d thought about giving him her virginity too. She couldn’t remember why she’d felt that way, but she knew she had and she was glad that those thoughts had never manifested themselves to Jack. She was almost glad Jack had broken up with her. “But we’ve learned from them.”

David nodded still staring at his hands, which were fidgeting. He stopped himself and then looked up at Katherine. “Thank you. I know I’m probably bugging you…”

“Please don’t ever feel that way. I’m...still learning how to be a friend and...you make it easy, David. I will try to be here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thank you,” he repeated. “Same applies to me.”

Katherine smiled and then awkwardly stared back at her computer screen. She knew it was customary to give a hug after such a declaration of friendship, but she still wasn’t the most physically affectionate person. Especially after her kiss with Sarah.

“So...any other book recommendations?” David asked, changing the subject to something Katherine could spend hours talking about.

“I have so many, I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Well, think about it. And uh...you should write it down. And why you recommend it.”

“What, like a book report?”

“Or...like a blog post. You gotta start somewhere, right? Why not write about something you know about. Something you love to do.”

“That’s...not a bad idea.” And suddenly her mind filled with words that she could use to describe some of her favorite books, as well as some of the duds she’d read that she felt people should skip over. She knew then that she had something to write about and that her ‘writer’s block’ was broken. She felt the urge to hug David again, but instead began to type.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if I've disappointed some of you Javid shippers by breaking them up practically right away. I didn't mean to mislead. As for Spot and Jack, I'll have more on them in the next chapter.
> 
> Henry is our newest character and there's two reasons I decided to make them...well, a them. The first is for the representation. I haven't seen many nonbinary characters, (although I admittedly don't often go searching for literature with NB characters so that's partly my fault) so I wanted to write about a really fun, likable character who identifies as something other than strictly male or female. The second reason is to challenge myself. For some reason I still find some difficulty in using "they/them" as a pronoun so I'm trying to get myself out of that mindset and get more familiar and comfortable with using them, especially when I have at least two friends I know of who use they/them pronouns.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully it's not long until I write the next one.
> 
> Love,  
> Holden M. Grudges


	3. Boysies/Girlsies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An eager Jack goes on a date with Spot. Jojo meets and befriends Henry. Sarah decides to get to know Sniper better. David and Katherine apply to colleges and talk about his friendships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back! Don't know how long for though. Sorry I've been away. I've been part of a play writing workshop for the past 2 months and was focusing all my writing energy on that. But I'm hoping to get more into this story and a few others I have in mind. I don't want to count my chickens though. So for now, here's this chapter. Enjoy. :)

“Hi...boyfriend.” It felt weird saying the word. It was something he’d long ago thought of a lot. He and Spot had been so close before puberty and sexuality came into the picture. It was nice to be able to get back to that somehow. That’s all Jack wanted. He wanted to get back to a time when he didn’t hate himself.

“Don’t…” Spot said. They were at Jacobi’s on what they had deemed their first date. Spot had chosen a table near the back where they couldn’t be seen unless someone was looking. “This is a first date, Jack. We haven’t gotten there…” Yet. And if Jack had anything to do with it, they would be boyfriends and more.

“Sorry,” Jack replied. “You’re right. I just have a good feeling about this. Besides, we’ve already had sex…”

“Yeah...And I’ve had sex with other guys but that didn’t make me their boyfriend.”

They had set some starter rules when Spot had texted him that he wanted to give them a chance. The first rule was that they had to date. It couldn’t just be sex and nothing else. There had to be romance involved. The second rule was that they couldn’t just flaunt their relationship. At least not right away. After all, they both hurt Davey and they had to be sensitive to him if they both intended to ever continue a friendship with him. The third rule was complete honesty. They had to communicate so that things didn’t end up how they ended up with Jack and Davey. Spot made sure Jack knew that was nonnegotiable.

To Jack, these rules were acceptable. And they made him believe that whatever type of relationship it led to, it would last. Spot was Jack’s first love and part of him thought that maybe Race, and Katherine, and Davey had just been stepping stones on his way back to Spot. They had just been educational relationships to teach him how to be for his real true love.

Jack looked across the booth at Spot and he could see that he was nervous. Jack had been the one to choose Jacobi’s. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea since a lot of their friends from school went there to eat or play games. The reason he chose Jacobi’s was because it was where he liked to take his dates. It wasn’t too fancy, but it wasn’t fast food. Plus, he worked there so he knew the place and the employees.

He reached out for Spot’s hand and for a second, they smiled at each other. Then the server came with their food and Spot pulled his hand back. The timing wasn’t ideal. Jack didn’t know if it was because they were supposed to be keeping it low key or if Spot still had reservations about public displays of affection. Especially gay ones.

He remembered how they used to joke about relationships and how Spot said when he had a girlfriend, she would have to keep her hands to herself because he didn’t want to be in one of those couples that couldn’t stop touching each other. Jack always said the opposite, saying he would hold his girlfriend’s hand and walk her to class and kiss her hello and goodbye. For the most part, they’d kept true to what they both said they’d do.

As they ate, they talked about what video games they’d been playing. One of the things they had in common was video games. They’d become friends bonding over video games, so it made sense for them to talk about that. They weren’t just starting off something romantic, but they were also learning how to be friends again. The talk seemed to make Spot more comfortable.

Jack didn’t try to take Spot’s hand again, but after they’d finished eating, he thought about trying something more subtle, with a somewhat sexier implication. Below the table, he let his foot glide over Spot’s. The other boy’s reaction was a smile as if he knew what Jack was doing and letting him know as much. Then, Spot reciprocated. Maybe that would be their thing. Jack knew he had to compromise. If he couldn’t hold Spot’s hand, at least he could play footsies with him, and that was enough.

“What do you say we go chill out at my place? Play some video games?” Jack asked.

Spot glanced at him suspiciously, but said. “Alright, but only for the games.”

They exited Jacobi’s, talking about what games they would play, but as soon as they stepped outside, they ran into Crutchie. Jack wanted to say something. He wanted to yell an apology at him and beg him to be his friend again, or to at least talk to him. Instead, Crutchie completely ignored both of them and kept walking, going inside Jacobi’s.

Jack and Spot continued walking but the conversation ended. They both knew how the other felt: guilty. Jack remembered that feeling when he was younger. He would look over at Spot and just get an urge to kiss him. Then he would feel a pang of guilt knowing it was wrong to want his best friend like that. Until he learned it wasn’t. He remembered when he decided to come out. He felt like a superhero. He remembered going to school that day ready to face his fears. He was going to come out to his best friend and everything would be okay because they were like family. Except, instead of coming out, he kissed Spot. He did what his urges wanted him to. And everything blew up. But now, everything was different.

Jack quickly took Spot’s hand and pulled him into the alley next to Jacobi’s. The other boy looked surprised, but at least he wasn’t objecting. Jack leaned against the wall and pulled Spot closer to him, giving him a kiss when there was no more room between them.

The passion was still there. That’s how Jack knew that it was meant to be. If Spot hadn’t reciprocated, then there would be no point, but there he was fighting tongue against tongue for the relationship. Knowing that Spot wanted them to work just as much as he did made him even hotter. There were so many obstacles between them, but the easiest to get rid of was their pants.

“C’mon,” he said to Spot after a minute of dry humping. “Let’s go to my place.” Spot nodded and followed him back out onto the sidewalk. They had walked there so they had to walk back to Jack’s. It wasn’t too long of a walk, but it was long enough to talk.

“Hey, Jack?” Spot asked, sounding a little nervous. Jack lifted his head and brows to let him know he was paying attention. “That was fun back there. But I don’t...I don’t intend on having sex with you tonight.”

Jack felt a bit bummed out. Sure, the passion was there, but there was obviously still something holding Spot back. He had to show him that he was fully committed and that he had nothing to worry about.

“But we can still chill at your place. That’d also be fun.”

So there was an opening. In the light of the public, nothing was easy to do, but once they were alone together, there was a world of possibilities.

When they got to his place, he was happy to see his dad wasn’t home. He was probably out drinking like he usually did. All Jack knew was that it meant they could be as loud as they wanted.

Jack immediately took Spot’s hand and pulled him into his bedroom, closing the door and pushing Spot up against it. Once again, their lips united, each boy pushing and pulling every body part they were in control of. They ended up on the bed with Jack on top of Spot. His hands flew down to Spot’s zipper, but before he could pull it down, Spot stopped him.

“Jack…” he said, as if to remind him they were only supposed to be chilling.

Jack responded by kissing Spot once more, letting him know he could trust him. Asking him to let him have this small pleasure. Convincing him that this could be good for both of them.

After sex, they cuddled naked on the bed. Jack smiled as Spot held him. This was all he wanted. Even if he couldn’t kiss him or hug him or hold his hand in public, being able to do so in the comfort of his own home was all worth it.

In the middle of the night, Jack woke up when Spot was trying to reposition himself. They smiled at each other and kissed again. Which turned into making out. Which turned into grinding. Which turned into Jack grabbing a condom from his drawer and slipping it on Spot. They may not have been boyfriends yet, but Jack could wait.

* * *

It was unsettling how easy Race made it look that he didn’t need Jojo. But then again, Jojo wasn’t exactly trying to rekindle that friendship either. Part of him felt guilty for the words he said. Albert was always a touchy subject. But he knew he had to wait for Race to forgive him. He knew trying to apologize on his own and explain himself would only drive Race further away. He was a stubborn person.

It at least made Jojo satisfied to see Race at school. It meant he was still alive and surviving. He didn’t look like he was starving or living on the streets, but with Race, he could never tell. Either way, he didn’t look bad.

So Jojo tried to get on with his life. It was his senior year, after all, and he had to try new things before it was too late. He knew Spot would take him back on the wrestling team. Maybe with Race temporarily out of the picture, he could hang out with Spot more like he’d wanted to over the summer.

Problem was that wrestling didn’t excite him anymore. It had been his thing for junior year. Freshman year had been tennis, sophomore year had been baseball. It was sport after sport after sport. He wanted to try something more artistic.

Dance class was funny at first. The teacher just told everyone to mirror her. As Jojo looked around, he saw everyone struggling to keep up as much as he was. Of course, everything was hard for him at first. He just had to get used to it. It helped that most of the students around him were college age. He’d opted to take a course at the nearby community college since his school didn’t actually offer dance classes.

“Hey, you’re in the Queer Club, right?” he heard when their first day of class ended as he was packing up his belongings. Jojo turned to see one of the new students that had joined the LGBTQ+ Club, Henry.

“Yeah, I’m Jojo, hi.” He mostly remembered them because they seemed to be Race’s new object of desire. They didn’t seem to mind the attention either. “You’re...Henry?”

“Correct!” they responded with a grin as if happy that someone had remembered them. Truth was, they were also hard to miss. Henry liked to wear clothes that made them stick out. Flashy colors, ties, and a whole lot of jewelry. Jojo almost wondered why they weren’t in the drama club instead, but it wasn’t a serious thought. “How’re you liking the dance class?”

“I’m not gonna lie. It’s kicking my ass.”

“Oh my gosh, right? Here I thought I was going to be learning, and instead all I’m doing is breaking a sweat trying to keep up. I mean, looks ten, dance three. Know what I mean?”

Jojo laughed and he could immediately see why Race was so smitten. “Yeah, I thought it was just me at first because I’m in high school, but seeing all these older students doing just as well...Let’s just say, I hope the professor grades on a curve.”

Henry chuckled at that and then excused themselves, saying, “Well, see you at the next class.”

It was like this for the first couple of weeks. A smile and a wave in class to acknowledge each other, and a quick chat after dance class. The third week, Henry randomly asked, “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, actually,” Jojo responded. He was always hungry after class.

“Wanna grab a bite to eat somewhere? I keep hearing of this place called Jacony’s or something but I haven’t been.”

“It’s Jacobi’s and you have been missing out, sir.” He realized a little too late what he’d said. “Ma’am.” That wasn’t any better. “Uh…”

Henry just laughed it off. “I like that. Sir-ma’am. Consider that stolen.”

Jojo offered to drive them in his black sedan. His parents had originally hired a driver until they found out the man had been spending his free time with their son in the back seat. It was the story Jojo had told them, though the truth was the driver had been with Race. He wouldn’t have said anything but Race asked him to. The whole ordeal had Albert written all over it.

Henry and Jojo got to Jacobi’s and ordered their food. They sat at a table and began discussing what their favorite part of the dance class was. Jojo said his was the challenge. If by the end of the course, he was able to keep up with the teacher, he would consider it a success. Henry said their favorite part was the music. Even if they weren’t able to keep up, at least they could feel the music in their soul. By the time their food got to their table, they were talking about what they liked to do outside of dance and the queer club. Jojo was glad that Henry was so easy to talk to.

Jojo legitimately enjoyed Henry’s company, but was also dying to find out anything he could from them about how Race was doing. Somehow, Race hadn’t come up in the conversation, until Jojo decided he just had to ask.

“Hey, you know Race, right?” he asked nervously, not sure how else to bring him up.

“Racetrack Higgins from Queer Club?”

“Yeah, him.”

“Yeah, I know him. Why?” Jojo hesitated and before he could answer, Henry seemed to come to a conclusion. “Oh my gosh, you like him, don’t you?”

“No!” he said a little too quickly to evade suspicion. The thought of having any kind of romantic feelings for Race seemed icky to him. “He’s like my brother.”

“He’s your brother?”

“No, he’s my best friend. Well, maybe not recently.”

“Oh. What happened?”

“It’s a long story really. My fault. I kind of brought up something that I shouldn’t have and...Well I just want to know that he’s okay. He doesn’t have to talk to me ever again, but I still care about him. So I was just wondering if you could tell me...how he’s been?”

Henry seemed to understand but shrugged very softly. “He mostly just flirts with me. I don’t think we’ve really had an in depth conversation. Is that normally how he is?”

“He’s very flirty with people he wants to get into bed with, so that part’s normal. I’m just worried he doesn’t have anyone to talk to. I’m his go-to guy and I kinda ruined that so...I guess I was just hoping he was talking to you.”

“Oh. Well, no. I’m sorry.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“You want me to talk to him?”

“I mean, at least try to get him off of just flirting. Get him to flirt but also talk about something real. If that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. What is he into? Maybe I can segue into something of interest.”

Jojo told Henry a little about Race, without letting them know anything too personal about him. He didn’t want Race to find out what he was up to and cut off ties with Henry just when he was starting to get to know them. For all Jojo knew, Henry could be the new person that Race fell for. It didn’t matter to Jojo. He just wanted Race to be happy even if that meant he wasn’t part of his life anymore. Once he knew he was okay, he would leave him in peace.

“Hey, thanks for doing this,” he said. “I know it’s a lot to ask.”

“It’s no problem, Jojo. You’re just being a good friend. I can tell you care a lot about him and if I could ever even hope to have a best friend like you, you bet your ass I’m gonna help. And maybe I’ll be able to see what you see in him.”

“Trust me, there’s a lot of good in him. Deep, deep down.”

They laughed and then continued eating. The subject changed and they went back to having a good time. Even if it didn’t work out with Race, Jojo had a feeling he was at least making a new best friend.

* * *

Sarah sat on a park bench thinking about Katherine and whether she should say anything about liking her. She kept going back and forth, debating with herself over what would be better.

On the one hand, she could potentially have a girlfriend. On the other hand, Katherine probably didn’t like her anymore and she’d remain single. And if she said nothing, she’d remain single anyway. The probability favored that she’d remain single and the easiest way to get to that conclusion would be to not say anything.

But she really liked Katherine and it had been months. She didn’t see herself getting over this crush anytime soon. Especially since they saw each other every day at school.

Sarah heard a clicking sound and looked up to see Sniper with her camera.

“Did you just…?” she asked as Sniper approached.

“Gotcha.” Sniper turned her camera to show Sarah the picture she’d taken.

Sarah thought it was beautiful. But seeing as she was the subject, she felt a little embarrassed. The way she looked was something Sarah constantly worried about. Sometimes she wondered if it was because she was trans or just because she was really self conscious. She always tried to keep a smile on her face so that others couldn’t see what she was really feeling. Sometimes she caught herself frowning or with another facial expression she didn’t want to give away. And as she looked at the picture Sniper took of her, she could see she was giving it all away.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sniper asked.

“It’s a good picture. You really caught me well.”

“Thanks. I mean, I know that already. I was actually asking why you look so...melancholy.”

It was something she wasn’t exactly willing to share with someone she barely knew. Even if Katherine was friends with her, there was something about Sniper that Sarah didn’t quite trust. Maybe it was her confidence. Maybe she was hiding something. But it wasn’t like Sarah could judge. She was also hiding something. A big ol’ lesbian crush on Katherine.

“I’ve got a lot of homework,” she lied. “I’m worried about finishing it all.”

“Bullshit,” Sniper called her out.

Sarah didn’t appreciate that even if she was right. “No, really. I know it’s a bit irrational to worry so much about it, but...it’s my senior year. I have to get good grades to get into a good college.”

“That’s also bullshit.” Sarah’s smile faltered, but she didn’t say anything. She thought about getting up and walking away, but Sniper continued. “Adults put so much pressure on us to go to college as soon as we leave high school, but like...it’s ridiculous. How are we supposed to know what we want to do fresh out of high school? I mean, a lot of people won’t even graduate college. Most of us will probably end up working fast food or retail or get a job where we can climb the ranks without even needing a degree.”

“I think college is the best option,” Sarah replied, a bit annoyed at Sniper’s commentary. “It’s basically the same thing we’re doing now. School. And when we finish, we’re qualified to do a job that pays well.”

“That’s if you’re lucky. Besides, if you’re so stressed about your high school homework, imagine college. It’s probably ten times harder.”

“Then it’ll just take me ten times longer.” Sarah realized her face was going back into what she was actually feeling and she corrected herself, directing a smile on again. “Nothing that’s worth it is easy.”

“True. I’ve kinda been trying to get a shot of you without a smile on, but it’s so hard. Easier when there’s no one around.”

Sarah didn’t like that. She didn’t like the thought of Sniper being creepy and taking pictures of her without her knowing.

“Which kinda brings me to a question. Would you consider being my subject? You’d get free pictures taken of you.”

Sarah almost immediately replied no, but there was something in the back of her mind that was bugging her. There was something she wanted to know. “Why me?”

Sniper shrugged, saying, “You’re the most interesting person at this school.”

“What makes you say that? You don’t know me.”

“Exactly. You’re a mystery to me. And so you’re interesting. You can say no if you want.”

“I know.” She wanted to say no, but she realized she was being really judgy towards this girl and wondered why. There was no reason to dislike her other than because she seemed nosy and took unwarranted pictures. Thinking more on it, Sarah supposed she had shown her the picture she had taken of her, and her interest could be genuine.

“I guess I should let you think about it,” Sniper spoke as Sarah continued mulling it over.

Sniper began to walk away and Sarah knew she could let her and not say anything. But she knew she could also stop judging Sniper so harshly and get to know her. “Wait. You’re kind of a mystery yourself.”

Sniper turned back around and gave her a kind smile. “Anything specific you want to know about me?”

“How is it uh...going with Katherine and her blog?”

“Not sure how much she’s gonna be needing me. I took some headshots of her for the ‘about me’ page, but that’s about it.”

“Oh, has she figured out what she’s gonna write about?”

“That’s more of a question for her. Anything you want to know about me?”

Sarah realized Sniper was right. She was asking questions about Katherine instead of trying to get to know more about Sniper. And then it occurred to her why she had suspicions about Sniper. It was because she was connected to Katherine and that connection, no matter how small, made her a bit jealous.

Sarah was surprised because she didn’t know she could feel jealousy. Or rather, she’d never gotten to the point of liking someone that she’d ever felt jealous of a third party. Usually when she’d set her sights on a boy and that boy got a girlfriend, she’d admit defeat and move on. But with Katherine it was different. Was it because she was a girl?

And it wasn’t as if Sniper was Katherine’s girlfriend. She was just a friend as far as Sarah knew. But just the possibility of Sniper and Katherine even thinking like that of each other made Sarah’s emotions spike. It was a little bit of fear and a little bit of anger, yet also a little bit of relief. If Katherine went on to date Sniper, Sarah would have no choice but to move on. She wouldn’t have to deal with the feelings she had now. Sarah wished she could just not like Katherine. She wished she could not like anyone. But just a wish didn’t make it so.

“Anything you like to do besides creep on people with your camera?” she finally asked.

“Ouch,” Sniper replied, a smile on her lips. “Actually, I really like to eat. Care to accompany me to Jacobi’s?”

Sarah thought about that for a second. She had that odd feeling that Sniper was hitting on her again. But she also knew that there was no evidence of that. She was just being friendly, right? “I can’t,” Sarah said. “I’ve got that homework to do, remember?”

“Ah, right. Maybe another time.”

“Yeah, maybe when you’re shooting me.”

“Huh?”

“You wanted me to be your subject, right? I accept.”

“Oh. Yeah. Cool. Awesome.”

Sarah got up from the bench and wrote her phone number on a scrap of paper. She handed it to Sniper and smiled at her. “Text me later and I’ll let you know when I’m free.”

“Cool. Awesome.”

“Yeah.” She walked away not sure if she’d made the right decision. But it wasn’t as if she suspected Sniper of any harm. She just feared the thought of her taking Katherine from her. Not just because it would mean Katherine would have a girlfriend, but because Sarah didn’t particularly enjoy the feeling of being consumed by the green-eyed monster of jealousy.

* * *

“Dave! Your girl friend is here!”

David placed his laptop on the bed and rushed out to the front door to stop his little brother, Les, from saying anything else. He smiled at Katherine before attempting to smack the back of Les’ head. Les dodged it and smacked his hand. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a friend.”

“Girl. Friend. Two separate words,” Les responded. “All your other friends seem to be guys.”

“Right. Well, when you say it like that…”

“How about you call me his book friend?” Katherine offered with a smile.

“Sounds boring,” Les said. “Fitting for a friend of Dave’s.”

David tried to smack Les again, but he ran off before his hand could make contact. “Sorry about that.”

“Why? He’s funny.”

David led her to his room and offered her his chair and desk to use. She was there so they could apply to colleges together. The application process was boring, but with friends it was less tiresome.

“Is Sarah home?” Katherine asked as she took her laptop out of her bag.

David shook his head. “She went to the park. She should be back soon though. She knows you were coming. Do you want to wait for her?”

“Mmm, I don’t have a lot of time,” she replied. “Let’s just do as much as we can.”

They were applying to colleges in New York since that’s where Katherine ultimately wanted to go. David didn’t really have a preference as to where he wanted to go, but he knew he wanted to stay close to his family. If they remained in Newtown, where they currently lived, he would probably remain there as well. But it also depended on wherever Sarah decided to go.

He knew that Sarah wanted to move to a big city. He knew she planned on applying to colleges in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and other places. He wished her the best, but he also knew if she did decide to move to any of those cities, it wouldn’t be cheap. If only one of them could afford to go to a good college, he knew it would have to be Sarah. David still wasn’t even sure what he wanted to major in anyway.

“Am I really your only female friend?” Katherine asked after a while.

David was slightly caught off guard but he thought about it. “I mean, Sarah’s my friend, but she’s also my sister so...If she doesn’t count then I guess yeah. You’re my only female friend.” And then he thought about it some more. “You’re my only friend period. I can’t really trust anyone else. Just you and Sarah.”

“Oh. You and Sarah are my best friends as well. Too bad she’s not here. We could form a trio name.”

“What, like The Three Musketeers?”

“Yes, but something that’s not as boring as an Alexandre Dumas book.”

“You think he’s boring?”

“Not plotwise, but he does write like he got paid by the word…”

The two got into a lengthy discussion about books that were too long to be interesting before they remembered they were supposed to be filling out applications.

After another while, Katherine spoke again. “What happened with you and Crutchie?” She seemed curious.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, obviously you’re not friends with Jack anymore, but...why not with Crutchie?”

“He was the one who told me. About...”

“Oh. I see.” She suddenly looked uncomfortable and stared down at her laptop.

“Apparently he wanted Jack to tell me first, but...he didn’t. So Crutchie did. And he’s Jack’s best friend. I mean, he’s obviously going to be on Jack’s side of this whole thing. So there’s no use trying to be his friend anyway.”

“Right,” Katherine said, looking up at him. “Well…” David could tell she wanted to say something, but she looked conflicted, as if she was waiting for him to give her permission to say it.

“Why do you ask?” Now David was the one that was curious. “Is there something you know that I don’t?”

“Well no. I’ve just been keeping my eye on them during club meetings. Crutchie doesn’t seem to be talking to Jack at all. And I’ve caught him staring at you a few times.”

“Jack’s been staring at me?”

“No, Crutchie has.”

David didn’t know how to feel about that. He hated that Crutchie had kept Jack’s cheating from him for a month. He hated that Crutchie was the one that told him. He hated that part of him still hoped Jack was into him. He hated that part of him was still into Jack. But he also hated that he missed Crutchie.

“Do you think I’ve been hard on Crutchie?” he asked.

“I don’t know. That was a hard place to be. Jack was his best friend but...so were you, weren’t you? If he wanted Jack to be the one to tell you, that means he didn’t want to be the one to do it. But he did.”

David remembered telling Crutchie that he wanted to give Jack his virginity for his birthday. Jack’s birthday was the same day Crutchie had told him about Jack cheating. What a great birthday present for someone who was supposed to be his best friend. Crutchie could have let him go on with it. He could have said nothing. David would still be with Jack and not be a virgin and they would still be pretending that everything was alright. But David realized that Crutchie gave all that up for him. He’d given up both of his best friends to do the right thing.

“Keeping it from you was a bad decision,” Katherine continued. “But he told you in the end. It’s none of my business and I’m not a hundred percent sure but...I think he chose your side, not Jack’s.”

“Do you think...Maybe I should talk to him?”

“If you want.”

“You do know that if he and I become friends again, that it won’t just be The Three Musketeers anymore, right?” He smiled at her.

Katherine grimaced. “Good, ‘cause that’s a terrible name. Besides, our third isn’t even here to debate this.”

“But if we can agree on a name now, we can have the majority vote when she gets here.”

“I’ll be voting with her if you keep trying The Three Musketeers.”

“That’s if she doesn’t like it and vote with me. Her favorite twin brother who she’s known for longer and shared a womb with.”

“Oh please, she and I have shared...plenty. Like good taste. We’ll see who wins this one when she gets here, Jacobs. But we should get back to these applications before these colleges decide to early reject us.”

“Right, right.” David smiled at Katherine, glad that she was his friend. He still wasn’t sure about talking to Crutchie, but maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. Part of him just wanted to forget about his former friends and lean into his friendship with Kath. But the other part still missed Crutchie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't come up with the name of the small city/big town where our Newsies live until now. I've decided upon Newtown, USA. Because there are lots of Newtowns in USA and also because it has the word New in it...as in Newsies. Ha. I've made it clear they're not in New York, but some of them do want to head for the big city. Anyway, would it be too on the nose to make the high school mascot the Newsies?

**Author's Note:**

> As always, please leave a comment with any concerns or critiques, or if you just want to say something nice. If you want to contact me privately, my tumblr is HoldenMGrudges. <3


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